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Archive for September, 2009
Friday, September 25th, 2009
 You know the song, “What the world needs now is love sweet love…”. During these times that still seem economically tough and money is tight what can we give that replenishes itself, that won’t cause us worry and stress and still has a positive impact.
Love, you say. That is certainly correct. However, the concept of love is filled with lots of dark crevices and deep crannies. I am going to suggest something that does not require a total commitment the way love does.
Let me show you the difference between total and partial commitment: A chicken and a pig were talking about breakfast. The chicken said “I love helping the farmer and his family stays healthy and strong by eating the eggs I produce.” With that the pig snorted “Of course, it’s easy for you and your partial commitment. To get the bacon they love I have to give total commitment and I don’t like that!”
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Tags: Accountability, Arts, Communication, Conflict, Ethics, Family, family patterns, Health, Leaders, Leadership, Oprah Winfrey, Patterns, Relationships, Resilience, Romance, Stress, Transformation
Posted in Accountability, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Ethics, Fear, Health, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Patterns, Transformation | No Comments »
Thursday, September 24th, 2009
We all know that the formal language around a PIP is that it is “designed to facilitate a discussion between you and your boss”. Right! Everyone knows it is really a way to get you to self select out before you get fired. Wrong!
If you have a crystal ball and see a performance improvement plan looming in your future do not worry. I’ll say it again. Do not worry. Or at least don’t let the worry drive you to depression and anxiety.
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Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Education, Executive Teams, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Leaders, Leadership, leadership programs, Management, pattern aware, Patterns, programs, Team Building, Transformation, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Boss, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Education, Employers, Executive Teams, Fear, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Management, PatternAware, Patterns, Team Building, Transformation, Workplace Relationships | 6 Comments »
Thursday, September 24th, 2009
There are many of us who learned as children to rant and rave, to make mountains out of molehills, to cry or stomp our feet to get attention. Or, maybe it was not always about wanting attention. Often, in a family the drama queen or king, the persecutor, the super achiever and the martyr are playing their role to keep peace in the family by turning the spotlight front and center on themselves.
In being the center of attention they are often taking the tension from arguing parents or problem siblings where discussing the underlying reasons for the tensions are too uncomfortable. Rather than face the difficulties the loud family member are, in a strange sense, saving the family from itself.
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Tags: Behavioral Patterns, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Leaders, Leadership, leadership programs, Patterns, Transformation
Posted in Accountability, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Management, PatternAware, Patterns, Super Achiever, Transformation | No Comments »
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009
We have all been taught that strong leaders are unemotional. They just deal with the facts and get the work done. That is just plain nonsense. There have been enough studies that show when we suppress our emotions we are fodder for all kinds of physical ills.
Suppressions of emotions can be costly. Please remember that. Male or female, when we shut down our emotional responses here is what happens to us: blood pressure can go up, immune system tends to go down and we are more susceptible to colds and viruses. Chronic suppressors have a strong tendency toward cardiac problems.
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Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Blood pressure, Business, Common cold, Communication, Conflict, Fear, Health, Immune system, Leaders, Leadership, leadership programs, Medicine, pattern aware, Patterns, Resilience, Stress, Transformation, Virus
Posted in Accountability, Business, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Fear, Health, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, PatternAware, Patterns, Reflections, Transformation | No Comments »
Monday, September 21st, 2009
We all need to find our own personal way OUT of difficult emotional situations. Out stands for Observe, Understand, and Transform. How we do that can make all the difference in our work relationships and give us high marks as leaders.
In my book “Don’t Bring It to Work” I offer some short quizzes and tests to help you observe the behavior patterns that are at the core of most knee jerk responses. These are behaviors you learned as a child, mostly for survival mechanisms in the family. Often someone will be a clown to make up for family sadness, someone else becomes a super achiever to make up for some type of family shame, and another becomes an avoider because the pain in the family needs to be ignored.
Once we can observe our own ways of responding to stress and difficult situations and we start the search to understand why we needed to fit into the family in a unique way we can begin to do the hard work of changing and transforming the patterned behavior.
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Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Conflict resolution, Family-Based Patterns, Leadership, Leadership development, leadership programs, pattern aware, Transformation
Posted in Accountability, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, PatternAware, Patterns, Reflections, Transformation | No Comments »
Friday, September 18th, 2009
George Blobe is the President of ORE Rentals, Inc. As a graduate of “Total Leadership Connections” he was able to find meaning in looking back at his family and bringing the wisdom he learned from them into the present time. Thanks George. I know there are many who will appreciate what you have written.
“My Blobe Oma once asked is the world getting better or worse? What do I know was my first thought, what is she talking about? The question seemed strange at first, but then I thought well at least she wants to know what I think, my opinion matters? I kept on thinking looking at the world thru the eyes of a young boy and looking for reasons why it might be getting better or worse. After seeing much support for both cases, I started to wonder how others saw it, so I posed the questions to others and listened to argument for either case. At some point I got the point that no one has the answer….but if we make the choice to see it as getting better we have the chance to make it better…..
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Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Ethics, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Fear, George Blobe, History, Leaders, Leadership, leadership programs, pattern aware, Patterns, programs, Resilience, Transformation
Posted in Accountability, Boss, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Economy, Ethics, Fear, History, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, PatternAware, Patterns, Reflections, Transformation | No Comments »
Thursday, September 17th, 2009
I am delighted to receive responses to my blog request for life defining sentences. Today enjoy the blog based on how one of our “Total Leadership Connections” facilitator’s looks at her life process and the essence of leadership development from a universal perspective. Along with working at Creative Energy Options, Jocelyn Goss is an educator at a Church in Philadelphia Pa. Enjoy!
“When we are running about life doing our own thing, casting our own dreams and wishes and thoughts and desires, there are things that are taking place in our life that we cannot see and have no knowledge of that are the actual and inevitable plans for our life, the plans and purposes that we were actually created to possess and live out. There comes a divine time when that plan is cast and set into place, and it makes no difference where you are, what you are doing or who you may think you are, the plan gets cast, regardless and there is nothing that you can do about it. It just gets cast because it’s all a timing thing and there is nothing we can do to orchestrate universal timing. Once its cast, you can choose to participate or not. You can choose to continue to do your own thing… but I have found the most life changing thing is when you find the courage to move out on what is your predestined design for your life, even though you may have great fear and it may take you way off course of your intended self chosen life destination, but I can attest that taking that journey into what is your designed destiny, changes your life instantly. Its taking that trust walk into destiny and that trust walk takes you into places you never new existed, beyond anything that you could have imagined your life to be. It allows you to live a life that is full of grace and ease. How many of us are struggling and toiling to keep our own developed dreams and desires alive and functioning within our own strength. When you take a deep breath and trust the authorized destiny for your life, your life changes. You have been created for a purpose, you have a job that no one else but you can do. Move into your created purpose and let it change your life into one that is beyond your expectation!”
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Change, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Ethics, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Fear, Leaders, Leadership, leadership programs, Life, pattern aware, Patterns, Resilience, Stress, Transformation
Posted in Accountability, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Education, Ethics, Fear, Health, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, PatternAware, Patterns, Reflections, Team Building, Transformation | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
It was Eleanor Roosevelt who said “You must do the thing you think you cannot do”. This is a great motto for today. This is a time to keep up your nerve!!!
What tactics have you used to keep from succumbing to anxiety and panic? What lessons have you learned from doing what seems impossible at the moment and then finding out it is possible that you did survive, you did succeed?
This fall is a time to renew your resiliency factor. Do something, anything that takes courage and looks like a “No way, Impossible” route. Here are some ideas. Take a back pack and go for a ten mile walk. Start at your front door and don’t have a plan in mind. Just start walking. I promise when you finish you will see your problems in a whole new light. Ideas will come fast and furious. So, start walking.
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Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Coaching, Communication, family patterns, Leaders, Leadership, leadership programs, pattern aware, Patterns, Resilience, Transformation
Posted in Accountability, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Health, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, PatternAware, Patterns, Reflections, Transformation | No Comments »
Monday, September 14th, 2009
I have been doing a great deal of thinking about resilience. At the very core is the fact that there is a loss and a requirement to continue on, to fill the empty place. Sometimes we can look to the tricks and turns of nature. There are those who have losses from hurricanes, floods, fires, even robberies.
How do those who recoup from natural disasters fare compared to those who have losses from wars, from sudden attacks such as September 11, or the Oklahoma bombings?
What about drunk driving accidents where lives are shattered? How do individuals who were drinking and caused the death or maiming of an innocent person pull themselves up? How does life go on after the accident when one becomes wheel chair bound?
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Tags: Accountability, Azim Khamisa, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Leaders, Leadership, leadership programs, pattern aware, Patterns, Resilience, Stress, Transformation
Posted in Accountability, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Fear, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Legal Issues, Patterns, Psychology, Reflections, Transformation | 4 Comments »
Friday, September 11th, 2009
On this Memorial day, remembering September 11, 2001, I would like to honor all the heroes who gave of themselves to help during and after the World Trade Center catastrophe. It changed who we are and how we view the world. It continues to change us. It is also bringing to the forefront a new type of hero.
I’d like to finish the week with some facts about this type of hero emerging in the 21st century. This new hero is tackling issues that have no absolute answer. It is no longer the good guys versus the bad guys (think Rush Limbaugh).They ask more questions and are willing to see all sides of a situation. They do not polarize or accept the polarizing thoughts of others. They are prone to look at the patterns that connect us rather than those that separate us. They are willing to stand alone and say “no” to what society has deemed “success”.
Of course, the traditional hero still exists, is still necessary. That is the hero who struggles with internalized demons or intergalactic wars. He or she is a model of opposing societal injustices. There is a pushback to right the wrongs, the anti-values of society push even harder and the hero continues to stay true to his/her cause (think Erin Brockovich). This hero eventually does something, changes or restores what was seen as negative. In effect, this traditional hero does something that makes himself better or the world a better place.
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Tags: 2001, Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Hereos, Leadership, leadership programs, pattern aware, Patterns, Power, programs, September 11, Transformation, World Trade Center
Posted in Accountability, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Ethics, Fear, History, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Transformation | No Comments »
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